Automatic flush

It's been brewing for a while, my anger with toilets. It's not just New York, but given I spend so much time here I might as well blame it on her as well and anyone or anthing else.

My beef is with the auto-flush. No matter how still I sit, how much I try to balance my weight evenly, nor how few seconds I've actually spent there, I still end up being auto-immuned. For those not in the know, that's when the toilet commences it's gushing, indelicate suck of the bowl with you (or in this case, me) still on it. Not only do I get the fright of my life every single time (endless capacity for surprise), it causes me to make a premature semi-leap off the seat to avoid being sprayed by my own watery pee. Which inevitably leads to me being sprayed by my pee anyways. Goddammit!

I looked up HowStuffWorks to find out "why me", but instead found alot of other angry people. Check out Nick Schultz' disturbing male tale of woe (click here): 'The auto-flush toilet violates two basic rules of technology adoption: Never replace a technology with an inferior technology; and never confiscate power from your users. Still, hands-free technology is flushing the competition. According to Pete DeMarco, the director of compliance engineering at American Standard (the largest toilet manufacturer in the world), auto-flushers constitute 30 to 40 percent of commercial sales today, and that number continues to rise.'